The Unknown

           The Unknown is one of those topics that's really scary to most. Whether it be the vastness of what space is, the depths of the oceans, a black hole, life after death, eternity, our own souls, or what may lay ahead in our future. Life is certainly full of questions we will never find an answer too, but seek so hard to grasp. I'm writing this looking at the topic of our future. We will never know the future, no matter how hard we try to get it, understand it, peer into it; it's simply there, we know what the future is, we understand the concept, but it's something we can never know until it's the present and that is a beautiful gift. 

           Living a life that is a part of God, a part of his desire for your life, is the most beautiful thing. When we do that, when we step into his plan, the future falls into place. Don't misunderstand what I'm saying, life won't be perfect just because of that, it won't be easy. Life will always be difficult because we live in a broken world that seems to be drifting further and further away from God, but when we step into his plan, there is a purpose and a life with a purpose is worth so much more. It's a perfect example for those around us. When God asks you to step into the unknown, the way he asked Peter to do when he got out out of the boat to go to Jesus walking on water, that's a powerful example for our lives. You may be walking on water right now and don't realize it. You may be doing the impossible in your life simply because God asked you to move and you are focused on him. When we set our focus on him, our faith is strengthened! I just watched a great movie I recommend to everyone called "The Giver." You can watch it on Netflix. There's a scene towards the end of the movie,where Jeff Bridges, who is The Giver, looks at his co-star, The Receiver and says, "You have the courage, let me give you the strength." So often when God says, "Here ya go, this is my desire for your life!" We have the courage to start, but we don't wait for him to give us the strength to continue on the journey. 

           Sometimes we must prepare, we must count the costs, we must ask God for the strength to keep going. We all hit those points where we struggle, where our hearts are tired, where our spirit is weak; those moments do not mean we've failed, it doesn't mean it's over, it doesn't mean you've given up, it means we have to let go of what we believe God told us and lay it at his feet, at the cross. We weren't meant to carry it by ourselves, we weren't meant to go on this journey alone. In those moments, it's time to let God revive the parts that were him and get rid of the tares we picked up along our journey. Sometimes those tares seem like truth, they seem like the things we were meant to carry, they feel like something God gave us, our burdens. When in reality, they aren't. They aren't from your papa, they aren't his desire for you, you were never meant to carry them. So why do we fight to lay everything down? Is it the fear of letting go of what we have come to know and embracing the unknown? I think believing in Jesus has a lot more to do with the unknown, and having faith in what God is doing, than we will ever realize. Sometimes he asks us to do something, and we have no idea what the outcome looks like, no idea where he is leading us, but we have to have faith and take a leap into that vast unknown, with the knowledge he's there to catch us.

            This is something that I've been walking through a lot the past 6 months or so, even more in the last month. There's something I will hopefully be able to share with you all in the next few weeks, a big unknown. It's something that doesn't really make sense to me right now or for my future, but God is crazy about me and only desires the best. I just have to find my courage, so he can give me the strength.

             Much Love,
                   Gabriel Sutton

The Struggle

Hey everyone,

I know it's been a number of years since my last blog, I've really been slacking. But I'm back! Hopefully I'll be able to stick to it this time around! 😂

I've been struggling with myself for a couple of months about vulnerability, self protection, not feeling worthy, not feeling like the person I should be, self worth issues, failure, trusting in my father to make everything work together for his glory & my good, but this list could go on for a long time, the main purpose is about being worthy, knowing your blessing, fighting for what God has said and finding your purpose, about getting past what you see and entering into his perspective.

I didn't want to write this blog, because I can't even understand what I'm writing fully. I don't believe God can use me right now because I'm stuck. Like Peter getting out of the boat and having faith while he focused on Jesus! The second he turned his gaze away and looked at his situation, realizing what he was doing wasn't possible, he saw the water surrounding him and fear gripped him and he began to sink! I've been sinking, instead of focusing on Jesus, I've been focused on everything around me, everything surrounding me, woe is me, my circumstances have overwhelmed me! YET, rather than running to the pillar that will never fall or shatter, never fail me, I've closed myself off, I ran from Jesus, I ran from the pain of pushing into him to find my strength, my hope, my tenacity, I saw myself the way I always have, inadequate, weak, sick, in pain, a failure. How could God love me? How could he choose me? Why would he ask me to write something when I'm trying to run from him?

All of us, if we had the choice, would run from pain, we would protect ourselves. Vulnerability, it's an easy word to say, but a word that's rarely put into action. Abba has been teaching me that vulnerability is your strength, only the strongest people, who are confident in themselves and confident in what God is doing, will show themselves to be vulnerable. It takes a strong person to deal with the pain of being vulnerable, because it always brings pain.

So here we are. I'm writing a blog, that I feel out of place writing, that I feel unworthy of writing, and I feel completely abondoned, his silence is deafening, but his presence brings healing.

Ever since I moved to Atlanta, Georgia, God has challenged me. He's challenged me to be vulnerable, to have faith even in the hardest times. Last year in December I had just finished working in Louisiana for the Leadership Institute, the chapter in my life where I felt like things were finally going to run smoothly, that my life was starting to rise from the ashes I've watched build up around me since I was medically discharged from the Air Force, that feeling of utter failure, that I simply wasn't good enough, that I wasn't going to succeed. But everything changed the summer of 2016. I stopped feeling bad for myself over getting sick, of being in pain, of dealing with a mountain of health issues that could end up being a book for a medical review journal. I was done feeling depressed and I walked in faith that I was better, that I was going to move forward even if it killed me! So I applied for a job with The Leadership Institute, that I didn't feel qualified for, but it was the best decision I could have made for myself. The 2016 fall semester flew by! It went great and I had a blast working with some amazing people throughout the semester, impacting their lives just as much as they impacted mine. 3 of the people I was able to meet were young ladies who work for a fantastic organization called Turning Point USA, I was offered a job with them for the spring semester of 2017 with a possibility of  it becoming a permenant position. I was ecstatic! I had the option of a couple states and locations, but Atlanta was not one of those options, which is where I felt God was leading me. When he said I want you in Atlanta, he also told me I needed to stay there through the pain, through the struggle,  that he knew it would be painful, and hard, and I would want to leave and give up, which seemed weird to me, but now I understand the admonition the Lord was giving me at that time. The day after I decided on Houston, Texas, I received an email and contract for Atlanta! The person who was suppose to take it had to back out due to some personal things. 

So in January I went to Chicago for training and went off into the concrete jungle that is Atlanta! I met some pretty spectacular people, but had many issues throughout the semester that was out of my control, so I didn't end up with the permenant position. I was heart broken, but I knew God told me to stay! He has this taken care of. So fast forward 2 months and I get this job I begged God for. I knew I could do it and it paid well, but it wasn't the job God wanted me to have.  I was working 60+hrs a week, I was under appreciated and worked to death. Because of that stress, I ended up getting extremely sick.  I had an ulcerative colitis flair up, which still hasn't cleared up fully. During that period of being sick, I ended up getting fired, which stressed me out even more. 

So while all this was going on, of me trying to find a job & starting said job, I was also pursuing a beautiful, godly woman. God told me to do all these different things for her. Everything was great! But in the end she broke up with me, leaving me with a million questions for God, a resentment for him and what he's been asking of me. Why do you want to me to pursue someone who doesn't want to be with me? Why are you asking me to stay? The anger I have right now towards God is real. The feeling of abandonment is real. The feeling of being lost and stuck and not worthy of his love, is all real. The pain is real. The heart ache is real. The feeling of not being enough is real. But now he's asking me to write, to tell the world what I'm feeling, to minister to others when I don't even have the words to speak to you, or the wisdom to help myself, but he still brought me to Hebrews 13:20-21 

"May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead, our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, who equips you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be all the glory for ever and ever. Amen.”

Regardless of what YOU see, God sees his son. He sees the sacrifice Jesus made for you. He calls those that are unqualified, that are inadequate, so his glory can be shown. 

I am not the man I see. I am not a failure. I am not inadequate. I am not what I see, because of the work he did, has already been done! The sacrifice has been made! I'm seated with my father in heavenly places as we speak! If we could just stop looking through our own eyes to see what God is asking us to do, and see ourselves through his eyes, with his perspective, doing the things he asked us to do would be radically changed, we would set the world a blaze with his presence! Our words would have power, so much more power! Because you are loved! You are chosen! You are his!  


Tonight God brought me to the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15 starting in verse 11. But he didn't focus on the son who wasted his inheritance, he brought up the older son who felt unloved because his father never threw him a party even though he worked in the fields daily with the servants. He missed the point of being in the presence of his father and the authority and blessings that comes with dwelling in his presence. He put his father in a box, and did what HE believed would please his father, he felt like he had to work for his affection, for his blessings, for his love, he failed to realize, that his father's love was unconditional, it was always there, whether he worked in the field or stayed home. That's where I am. "But God! I've done everything you've asked of me! Ive stayed by your side! I've worked in the field! I've been here, but where have you been?! Where was my party! Where was my blessing! I'm angry because I've worked and worked for this, but nothing has changed! Why won't you bless me?" When the older son finally came back from the field hearing the sounds of music and a party going on, he told a servant to go fetch his father, he wouldn't even enter the house! I think he didn't go in because he felt unworthy in that moment, he was angry, "I must have done something wrong! Why was I not invited? Did I fail my father because he's never done this for me." When the father comes out and is confronted by his son, the father tells him, "everything that is mine, is yours! You could have thrown a party, you could have killed a fatted calf, you had my authority, but you worked as a servant, not as my son. You saw yourself through your perspective, instead of mine. You could've spoke to me, spent time with me, learned who I am, but instead you were in the field with my servants, slaving away." I'm the oldest son. I'm complaining about not being blessed, when my blessings are here, but I don't feel worthy enough to walk in any thing the Lord has blessed me with, I don't feel adequate enough to do what he's asked. I haven't pressed in, I haven't prepared myself, so I would be able to see clearly, instead of walking around in this deep fog. 


If you are feeling this way, know that you are loved! You are adequate! You are a child of God! You don't have to work for his love! We love him because he first loved us, even in those moments we never deserved it. Know you are not alone! There's others who feel the same way you do. Jesus begged his father 2 separate times in the Garden of Gethsemane to allow his cup of suffering to pass from him. He was grieving, he didn't want to be alone but the disciples kept falling asleep, he begged his papa in his weakness, in his fear, in his depression, in his mourning, to not do what he was being asked to do. How many times have you been there, but with some thing else, where you feel overwhelmed by what God is asking of you, where you are overcome by fear, by anxiety, by grief, by depression? Has God asked you to sacrifice something in your life that you simply don't feel capable of sacrificing? That seems and feels completely overwhelming?   

Don't misunderstand whats happening in those moments, God is not testing you! He does not want to see you in pain, he did not put you into this position, sometimes it was our own decisions that caused these consequences, sometimes things just happen in life, because life is unfair, I don't believe God causes our suffering but sometimes he allows it to happen. Like when Satan asked God to ALLOW him to torture Job to see if he would turn away from God, God didn't cause anything to happen to Job, but he did allow it to happen. He wants these situations to draw you deeper and closer to him, for you to choose him, even when everything seems to be going wrong. He uses it as the refining fire. So in these trying times, these moments where you feel like you are going to break, that you can't keep going, where you can't handle the pressure anymore, it's an opportunity for you to allow your loving father to be there with you!  It's so you can dig deeper, and cling to him, he will NEVER leave you or forsake you, he's always willing to welcome you into his presence regardless of what's happening, we just have to let go and trust him. In these moments of brokenness, cling to him. You have nowhere else to go, and he will always comfort you. You know God is working behind the scenes, to make all of this work together for your good, regardless of what you see or how it feels! A glow stick is nothing until it's been broken, it must be broke before it fulfills it's purpose, which is to shine. So in these moments of brokenness find your purpose, fulfill your purpose, begin to shine, when you are at rock bottom, allow God to break you of the things holding you back from shining, from living a life that is full of faith! Full of love! Full of Jesus! 

Much Love,
Gabriel Sutton

Love and Faith

So I’m sitting here really thinking about my relationship with God. I’m comparing it to my relationship with other people, with things, with life in general. I look around and I realize how much God has blessed my life and how often I really, truly thank him for all he is, for all he’s done and for his everlasting love and grace… Unfortunately I don’t do it often enough. I can freely worship God how I please, I can freely speak openly about God, I don’t have to wonder if I am going to get arrested for speaking about my relationship with God  with someone at Wal-mart, (even though it does seem like we are moving this direction.) My life is blessed beyond measure, even though you may not be able to tell from the outside. I’m pretty much un-employed, I don’t have a car, I don’t have a girlfriend, I don’t have many things that the “world” measures to claim we are blessed or wealthy. But I tell you once more, I am blessed BEYOND measure! I have a REAL personal relationship with the one true living God, I can tell him anything and not be in fear of judgment from him, or be in fear he may strike me down for what I have done, instead he loves me through it. I am blessed by a wonderful family! One that I am blessed to be the oldest of, blessed to help lead (even though I fail more often than not.) I am blessed to have a family who loves and supports me through it all! I have friends that are simply amazing! Beautiful souls who have helped me through life and its struggles, through its ups and downs, through thick and thin. God more recently has blessed me with even more friends who I know will be there for me and be more like family than just simple acquaintances. I think that’s the most beautiful thing about my friends, they truly aren’t just friends, many friends are merely just acquaintances because of the way society has “deemed” a “friend.” A friend is always there for you, loves you no matter what, just like family! My friends are my family! I love each and every one of them with all my heart . I couldn’t ask for a better family! They are simply great! The beautiful things about my family are that new people are always arriving! Always coming and wanting to become a part of my family and I becoming part of theirs! I’m not blessed with a bunch of money, I’m not blessed with an awesome job, but what I am blessed with no man can ever pay for! No man can ever compare to what I have! And the most important of all of these things, the thing that holds it all together, is my relationship with my Savior Jesus Christ! Because of him, because of him everything else works together! Letting him lead me by still waters is oh so easy to do, we are hand in hand admiring the beauty our Father created for us, however when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, how often do we forget he is still there. How often do we forget he is there leading us just like he was leading us by the still waters. When things are easy and blessed we know he is there, but when things become dark and scarce, we begin to ask where he is, what his plan is for us, we doubt he cares for us during this time, we are scared and lonely. With all of that being said let’s look at Matthew 27 while Jesus is being led by the hand through the Valley of the shadow of death. He is being led to his demise, he is being led to his death, his crucifixion on the cross. He must have felt the hand of his Father leave him, he must have felt all alone, with literally all the weight of the sins of the entire world on his shoulders.  If we jump to verse 46 it says Jesus cried out in a LOUD voice “ELI, ELI, LAMA SABACHTHANI” translated to “My God, My God, why hast though forsaken me?” He was quoting Psalms 22 when David is crying out to God for help, for God to hear his voice and deliver and help him. In verses 6-11 he says “But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people. All they that see me laugh at me to scorn: they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying, He trusted on the Lord that he would deliver him: let him deliver him, seeing he delighted in him. But thou art he that took me out of the womb: thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother’s breasts. I was cast upon there from the womb: thou art my God from my mother’s belly. Be not far from me; for trouble is near; for there is none to help.” Looking at and reading Psalms 22, seeing what Jesus was quoting it brings how much mental anguish and pain he was going through. He was literally in the darkest place any man, woman or child has ever been. For God judged him for ALL of our sins, for every defilement that ever took place, God’s wrath and his anger was poured out upon Jesus while he hung on the cross. Let that sink in for a second, really understand and look at what was going on during this time. Let it sink in. Have you ever felt like your sins are just too much? That God has turned from you, that he turned his back to you? Multiply this feeling by millions, imagine not being able to see God in anything, feel him in anything. You can’t imagine it, that’s the thing. The Bible says in Psalms 19 “That the heavens declare the Glory of God, and the earth shows his handy work.” We can see God in everything, we can feel his love in everything. We are not absent from God ever, not even for a split second, He is always there and he loves us. I chose to wake up this morning and thank God for all I have, to thank him for who he is and what he has done and what he is going to do. You have a choose to live life unfulfilled, and not thankful, looking at all the evil and bad in life, when you could be admiring the beautiful artwork God has placed before us, to show us how much he truly desire’s our hearts, how much he truly desire’s us to meet and commune with him. He is always there and is always waiting for you to speak with him like your best friend. That’s what he desires of us, to be intimate with him, to share our deepest fears, our deepest hurts, our deepest thoughts, our most incredible feats, what makes us happy, what makes us sad, no matter what you think, God is there and he is listening to you because he loves and cares for you! Having faith in something even though we may not be able to see or feel it around us and still love in the darkest times when our faith is dwindling, is such a powerful thing when put into our spiritual walk. God has faith we will share these intimate moments in our lives with him, he loves us even when we are nowhere to be found. He desires your heart, will you give it to him?

Listening AND obeying that still small voice!

I have a few questions that I'm working on in my spiritual life right now. Why do we struggle with the things of God when they become an inconvenience for us? Why do we treat what God has asked to do as a burden at times? I woke up at about 3 to 3:30 this morning and had 2 people laid upon my heart, both to pray for and one to send an encouraging word too, which I was supposed to send earlier. But FIRST before I began praying for them I laid in bed and argued with God about getting up! I wanted to go back to sleep! I was tired! I said I'll do it when I wake up. God was so insistent on me getting up! So I finally got up, very reluctantly and began writing this message to them. It went by great! 30 minutes or so and bam I was done! Towards the end while I was still writing a song came on that reminded me of the other person and something they had mentioned to me earlier that week. So I re-played the song when it ended and then went to bed. As I was laying there God spoke to me and said "Are you really going to try and ignore me again? I just gave you a song to send to that person and you still come to lay down!" I was like "DUDE, God, it's 4am! Give me a break! I'm sleepy and tired and I'll do it first thing in the morning!" NO, do it NOW! He was so on me about getting up! So I once again reluctantly did. Found the link to this song, which is Matthew West's "The Motions" I sat and listened and watched the music video, which brought me to tears! I don't want to go through the motions with God! Read the lyrics, look up the song, EXTREMELY powerful!  Anyways I finally sent that person the link and a little message attached with it. So I was finally FREE to go lay down! YES! SLEEP! I sat on the end of the bed and said a little prayer that was something like this, "God, I love you and all but if theres anything else you want me to do, RIGHT NOW would be a good time to tell me before I lay down to go back to sleep." I said it in a very jovial way and began laughing once I finished, which then turned into a river of tears! I began bawling my eyes out. God hit me right between the eyes! "Why do you feel that I am a burden? Why do you feel that what I'm asking is not as important as what your about to do?" I just cried and cried for a good ten minutes. Then in the middle of crying God quickened me to go and write down what had just happened. This time I QUICKLY rose from my bed and went to writing! There was no need to argue. But seriously, why do we treat God as a burden SO often and don't even realize it! I didn't purposely do that, I was just tired and wanted to go back to bed. But we should be as Samuel was with Eli and then God in 1 Samuel 3:4-14. "Here I am Lord, your servant Samuel, use me." "Samuel" He rose up QUICKLY and hearkened unto Eli 3 separate times. The Bible says their eyes waxed dim, they were tired, each time their eyes waxed dim and each time Samuel still rose up and hearkened unto Eli. The third time Eli finally realized it was the Lord and he spoke to Samuel and told him what to do. It took 3 times for me to finally listen to God without arguing. 3 times just as Samuel, 3 times God called me! Don't allow God to call you 3 times! Do it the first time, without question! Treat God as a privilege and honor to daily commune with! For he has NEVER treated us as burdens! 

Prayer

This is a 2 part blog guys but they go so well together I'm keeping it as one. It's all centered around prayer. Prayer is such a powerful thing! It strengthens your walk with God, helps you stay on track, allows you to keep a close and intimate relationship with Jesus. But I believe that prayer is not used as much as it should be and often times misused. WHOA! WAIT! Did you just say misused? Yes I did. But I'm getting ahead of myself, let me explain.

I want you to take a quick look around you and at your life. Is it comfortable? Is it spacious? Do you feel free? Are people constantly telling you cannot do this because it's illegal? Well hopefully your answers are all pretty positive. Except for maybe that last one. People may not literally be telling you it's illegal to do this or it's illegal to do that, but slowly our freedoms are being taken away! Here just recently the University of Tennessee came under fire for their pregame ritual at Neyland Stadium, that ritual was nothing but a 30 second invocation or prayer, whatever you would like to call it. Now in the Constitution it says we have freedom of religion and a freedom to express that religion, we also have a freedom of speech. The Freedom From Religion Foundation aka FFRF is saying that what UT is doing is illegal and should not be allowed. It also says what is going on is offensive towards individuals that do not share the same beliefs. Now I had no idea that saying a prayer that no one asked or said you had to be involved in would cause you to be offended simply because someone was saying a prayer in the facility you were in. Maybe it offends me that you find me doing this offensive; maybe I find it offensive that you’re trying to take away my right to express my religious beliefs. If the courts decide to rule on behalf of the FFRF that will cause a very steep and slippery slope that this Nation is not ready to go down and should never have to go down! Therefore we need to do something about it! In the 1970's Martin Luther King Jr. Saw the injustices happening and did something about it! His actions are what started the civil rights movement. His prayer, transferred into action! James chapter 2 talks about this.  Faith without works is dead. If you do not put action to your faith, what good is it? MLK Jr. put action to his faith, he saw an injustice and changed the face of this nation! We as believers must do the same thing!  We must rise up and begin putting action to our faith if we want to see change. 

When will we as Christians begin to act as the disciples did in the book of Acts? When Peter, Paul and Stephen were all told to stop preaching, to stop bringing the message of Jesus Christ out to the people, how did they respond? They responded by saying do what you need to do and we shall do what we need to do! If you so deem it necessary to make it illegal to preach these things and spread the gospel then you will just have to arrest us! That was the meaning, but of course I paraphrased and used different words. Things are beginning to get so bad that people are getting fined over home bible studies! (http://www.examiner.com/article/venice-florida-family-faces-fines-for-home-bible-study) Now how can this be? We live in The United States of America! You cannot fine an individual or a family for having a Bible study in their home. It is unconstitutional and it is wrong! What would be happening if the people, if the Christians of the country ROSE up and prayed? Would this happen if we ROSE up in numbers against the government for the things they have started to do to us and the things they have started to say? I don't believe so! I believe they would leave and back off and allow us to freely express ourselves! We need to start acting like the early Christian church! We HAVE to start acting like the early Christian church! We need to start acting as the disciples did in Acts! We have to begin to do this before it is too late!

                There are many Christians out there, praying for the judgment of God to fall upon this Nation, to judge it of all of its wickedness and perversions. This saddens my heart deeply! We should not be praying for judgment upon this Nation, we should be praying that this Nation be spared! That God would show us his mercy and give us a chance to prove ourselves! Not only that but let’s get Biblical, the Bible says in 1 Peter 4:17 “For it is time for judgment to begin with the household of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God?” I know I am personally not ready to be judged by God almighty. I’m still working on my walk. Are you ready? Are the people praying this ready? Or even taking this verse into consideration? These Christians are saying that if God doesn’t judge this Nation then he will have to apologize for destroying Sodom and Gomorrah! #1 that all happened in the old testament before Jesus came and paid for our sins! And brought us grace! #2 Abraham prayed and fasted to God to spare those cities! In Genesis 18 Abraham begins to speak with the Lord. The Lord tells him “Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous; I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know.” Yet Abraham responded saying “Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked? Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein? That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” And the Lord answered his request saying “If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes.” After the Lord could not find fifty righteous in the cities, Abraham stayed with God and continued to intercede and pray for the cities, all the way till he finally said “If you find ten there will you not destroy this city?” And the Lord said “I shall not destroy the city for the sake of ten.” Abraham knew the city was evil, yet he continued to pray and intercede for the city! God did not find any righteous in the city and he only tried to spare Lot and his family because of Abraham! Because of Abraham’s righteous cries to God, did he spare them! We need to have the heart of Abraham and pray that God will spare this nation for the sake of the righteous! Because “Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference.” Romans 3:22. How many righteous are here? How many righteous are in the entire Nation, not just a city, but an entire Nation? We need to pray that God spares this Nation for the sake of the righteous, however if we pray this, the righteous need to rise up! We need to rise up as children of God as spoken of in Isaiah 60! The entire chapter talks about the children of God rising up and the light of shining upon his people, to the extent the gentiles, kings and all the people of the earth will recognize and come to us! They will be converted because of the light we show! For the presence of the Lord will abound! If we want to take this Nation we have to be as the children of Israel were in Joshua 6:16-20! We shall raise our voice's in one accord and make this spiritual wall fall! We have the power through Christ Jesus to do this! We must do this! 

                2^nd Chronicles 7:14-16 says “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. Now mine eyes shall be open, and mine ears attent unto the prayer that is made in this place. For now have I chosen and sanctified this house, that my name may be there forever: and mine eyes and mine heart shall be there perpetually.” How powerful are these scriptures during this time in our Nation! People, rise up! Read your Bible, seek the face of the Lord! Search for God’s heart! More of you oh Lord and less of me! Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways yours.” Saith the Lord. Pray and focus on God! He knows what he is doing and going to do! Just TRUST in him. Give thanks unto God for he is the Alpha and the Omega. The beginning and the end.

                Look at Acts 12. Peter is delivered out of the hands of Herod and there are many people gathered praying for Peter in the house of Mary the mother of John. When Peter does finally show up NO ONE believes it is him! They say it must be his angel! For he is in the hands of Herod! But Peter continually knocked upon the gate to be let in. When they finally answered and opened the door they were astonished to find him standing there. James 4:3 says “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” Let’s take a look at this and break it down. James 3:4 is explained to an extent in Acts 12. Why would you pray and ask God for something if you DO NOT expect him to deliver and answer your request! For it is an empty prayer. For God knows the intent and desires of our heart. He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4) If your desire is to see God move he will move! The beginning of the verse says “Delight yourself in the Lord.” Delight oh children of God! Seek him and he will be found!  Secondly pray with the RIGHT desire in your heart. If God knows what you are praying and knows the desires of your heart to be wicked then he will not answer those prayers because “you will consume it upon your lusts.” God knows if the desire of your heart, if the intent of your heart is in the right place! Allow us to thank God continually for the blessings he has bestowed upon us! 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says “Give thanks in all things, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” Proverbs 3:5-6 also states “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

                I hope everyone enjoyed this and I also hope it encouraged you in your daily walk with God. I pray this will also change your outlook upon the world we live in and stir you up to pray for our Nation and our world! We need to once again become the light on the hill that Ronald Reagan referred to us as, likening us to the Light in the world and a city on a hill in Matthew 5:14. Let us remember that this nation was founded on principles that are here forever. The rock of this nation, the foundation of this nation, the cornerstone was for us to find religious freedom! So we may FREELY worship God! God has blessed us throughout the last 250 years and I believe he will continue to bless us if we as in 2 Chronicles 7:14-16 says “Humble yourselves and PRAY!” PRAY children of God! PRAY, for this nation depends on it! Your heart, your life, your families lives depend on YOU PRAYING! “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.” Revelation 3:16. Be not lukewarm any longer! Become HOT and on fire for the things of God! Rise up for this is YOUR calling in the Lord Jesus Christ! Let US be the Light to the world! A city upon the hill which cannot be hidden! RISE UP!

The Struggles and Desire's of my heart!

I originally wrote this as a message to someone and that is why it is written in such an informal fashion. However I feel like it is something that is good to express and get prayer over! Maybe help guide some men out there searching for God! Or maybe help women with finding a Godly man to enter into their life. I’m not sure why I feel so led to post such a personal thing, but I do! So here ya go!

I haven't talked about this in so long with anyone.... I'm meant to be someones husband, I know this, it's been a deep desire of my heart forever..... Sometimes it hurts so much to think about all the girls I've taken out on dates and talked to and been honest and open with, they always ditch me. I've always felt so rejected because of that. Everything always goes so well for a few months, and then they just stop... One thing that I've learned is that fights are stupid and ppl say stuff they always regret and so if a fight is about to start I leave or ask them to leave and then the next day I apologize and act like nothing happened. Life is too short to get angry! I always bring up the subject of whatever we were fighting about though, but I do it in a civilized way and try to discuss it, not fight about it. They hate that.. Why would you want to fight someone and then be upset with yourself for saying something stupid that you know you will regret? It doesn't make sense to me?! I don't crowd anyone either and I don't care what you do when you’re not with me as long as you’re not with some other dude or whatever, you still have YOUR own life and I have mine. But when I am with them I act and treat them like they are the ONLY girl in the world! I love making a girl feel special! Seeing that sweet little smirk that EVERY girl has! Each ones different and each ones perfect in their own way! And each one will melt a man's heart! Those little things, those little quirks are the most amazing little heart stoppers! haha I love how amazingly complex a woman is! How amazing ya'll are is so fabulous! I never regret the hours that I spend talking to a girl, they always just blow my mind! The way you allow emotion to govern your lives rather than logic like a man (not always, just tends too)! Many people call that a flaw, I say it's a blessing in disguise! I love how emotional a woman can be! I know that sounds weird! But that's what makes ya'll so awfully perfect! lol

I used to be so angry with God for not giving me someone. For not allowing me to find a woman who will love me for me! Who I can love and cherish and make her my queen! I'm no longer angry with God, But I am sad every once in awhile when I think about it. I will never treat or say I will treat my bride like a princess! A princess is under the rule of the king and is the daughter of the king, she does get treated amazingly, I mean she is the princess. I will always call and treat her as my Queen! A Queen is CHOSEN to help rule! And is NOT under the King but rather his help to rule over his kingdom! It takes a mighty and powerful woman for a man to look at and then choose to take over and help him rule! When I look for a woman, I look for a strong powerful woman who can easily take care of herself and her family just like the proverbs 31 woman! A woman I know that will raise our children with respect and honor! God forbid if anything ever happened to me after I get married, but I want to know that my wife will be strong for my children! I want to know that when she remarries that she will remarry a God fearing man, a man who will take care of my family as if it was his own! I know that I'm not ready for a wife or for a family right now and I've learned a lot of patience recently concerning this and I'm happy with being single for the first time in a long time. I know that my wait for my bride will be well worth it! I know she will be the most spectacular person I've ever met and ever laid my eyes upon! I know that while I'm sweeping her off her feet she will sweep me off mine as well! You know I'm not looking forward to the physical aspect of my relationship the most, it's the fact that I will daily be able to sit there and pray with with my wife, that we will daily be able to worship our God together in harmony, as one! That has always brought so much joy to my heart thinking about it. Every girl that has come into my life as a romantic interest has sorda steered me away from God. I would try to pray with them and they always would be like "are you serious. Thats what you want to do right now? You really want to read the Bible with me?" That should have always told me, hey back off! This is NOT the one! Leave her alone! But I was yearning for that relationship so bad I dismissed it, over looked it. I want to be so in love with my wife and allow our love to push us into a higher knowledge of God! That we are constantly pushing each other into a deeper relationship with God! Him being the center and basis of our relationship! There's 2 things I can talk about for hours... That's God (faith, Jesus, the Bible, etc.) and Women! haha I’m sure you can’t tell though…

I'm sitting here, really searching myself and my life, listening to Kari Jobe worship on Pandora radio and the presence of God is so strong right now! My God is so awesome! I love how he meets me where I am! His grace is so amazing! His forgiveness overwhelms me! His love for me, it's awe inspiring! I have so many things that I have to work on. I may seem like a good person but I'm really not.... There are things the Devil has just fought me over so much over my life! Over and over again, I just became worn down! I lost my fight! I lost my drive for the things of God. I let the Devil win on so many levels...  You know God has blessed me with the ability to speak, not only speak but speak well when the time comes. He has placed me in front of people numerous times, over and over again. I have squandered the gifts God has given me! My name means "Strong man of God, messenger of God, Mouthpiece, Exalted one, Strong or high mountain" That's the meanings of my first and middle names. But I mean God has obviously called me to something higher than what I'm currently doing! My parents know it, I know it, some of my friends know it. I've had random people tell me I was going somewhere with my life! I've had random people tell me that God has a powerful calling on my life! And when I say random, I mean people in Wal-Mart random. I've had people prophesy over me saying that I was going to be in front of millions of people and that people would come to me for help, for guidance, for wisdom! I mean, that scares me to death! I've been running for so long! I don't want to screw up.... I don't want to fail.... I can't believe I wrote this much... God help me please! Help me get out of this fear! Walk me through the unforgiveness that is holding me back! Help me give everything to you! Help me walk blindly, fully trusting you with my life! Teach me your ways and your wisdom! Give me a longing a yearning for you! You are my God! You are my king and I will forever serve you!

Accountability

Accountability is such a powerful thing. God created it to help us stay on course with different things, but mainly to make sure our walk with him is going in the right direction. Cain was not holding himself accountable, God had to step in and bring accountability to him about his brother Abel. Should we be our brothers keeper? Should we be held responsible for the spiritual walk of our brothers and sister in Christ? I believe so! It's not our complete responsibility to make sure they are walking down the right, the path God has for them, we can't force anyone to do anything! But we can be the support they need in their daily walk! If you are continually there offering support, offering encourage and holding them accountable, it will be much less likely that our brothers and sisters will stumble and fall! God is not a respecter of men. He does not care if you are a business man, or a teacher, or even a pastor! Everyone has their own specific gifts and we need to walk in them, but he wants us to be that accountability to our friends and family! He wants us to encourage the people around us even if they just faltered, even if they don't know what to do, even when the burdens of the world have become to much for them! Encourage them to go before God! To pray and seek his face! To read his word! I'm going to finish this up with asking a few questions.

When was the last time you read your Bible? When was the last time you encouraged someone to read their Bible? When was the last time you prayed? When was the last time you prayed with someone else? When was the last time you encouraged someone to pray? When was the last time you were held accountable by a friend or a family member? When was the last time you helped hold someone accountable? When was the last time you were encouraged in your walk with God? When was the last time you encouraged someone else in their walk with God? And finally when was the last time you put someone else's needs before your own?

Questions

I'm not going to sit and talk forever on this blog taking up your time, I'm just going to ask you a few simple questions. Questions that have really been laying heavy on my mind lately. Hopefully each of you that read this will be encouraged to change, to live better, to go after you dreams, goals and aspirations! But what are these simple questions?

1. Are YOU living YOUR life to the BEST of YOUR ability?

2. Are YOU happy with who YOU are becoming?

3. Are YOU doing YOUR very best?

4. Are you "satisfied"with the life YOU'RE living?

5. Are YOU who YOU think YOU are?

If you don't know the answer to some of the questions, maybe can't answer these questions the way you want to, then hopefully this will give you the motivation to change! The motivation to help yourself discover and search and find the answers to these questions! I'm on my search! My hunt! I want to know! I need to know!

Yearning for the Father

Sometimes I sit and wonder why God went through all this trouble for us?! Sending his son to die for our sins, for the sins I've committed and for the sins I know I'm going to commit. I pray and I ask God for forgiveness and to help me, to give me wisdom, bless me with humbleness, to show me my short comings so that I may work on them and be a better person. But it seems like I always disappoint myself. Why do I always fall short? Why can I never get out of the rut I'm stuck in? I wish God could give me the easy button off of the Staples commercials! It would be so nice. All my problems just go away, all the things I doubt myself over, the lack of faith I have. Maybe it's just that I don't surround myself with the things of God like I should? That I don't pray and read the word enough? Sometimes I feel so lost and confused that I don't even know the next step I should take! I wish I had faith, every time I go looking for it it's nowhere to be found! It's disappeared, it's left me forsaken and lost. Maybe I'm so weak the Devil just feeds off of my short comings and my lack of faith?! Where is the self confidence that I will so proudly display to the world, but when it comes to looking in the mirror it dissipates when I try to find the substance within. I'm always so afraid of failure and not being able to amount to anything. I don't want my life to be nothing. I could care less if I go down in history books, or that I become world renown for something. I want my name to be known by Christians and by the saints in heaven, by the angels that sing praises to our heavenly Father! I want them to know my name as being a man of God! A man of utmost faith! A man of integrity and honesty! I hate that I go through these bouts where I feel so strongly about this, where I seek God with everything I have and then a few weeks later I lose focus and track of myself. I don't want to lose this driving passion, this burning desire for my father! "As the deer panteth for the water so my soul longeth after you!" I want to be forever yearning for my God and my savior! 

9/11

I know I'm late posting about 9/11. I didn't forget! I remember that day very well even though I was only 12. My mom had let us sleep in that morning and she came in my room freaking out about something, telling me to wake up! I woke up and came out and watched the tv, not just on that day, but for days, weeks, even months later not only about this tragic day in American History, but thinking in my mind "Would this happen again? Would I die? Would my family die?" I didn't completely understand the magnitude of what had just happened in New York, Washington DC and let us not forget the plane that was crashed in a Pennsylvania field! I was only 12. I remember talking to my parents about it trying to figure out what was going on, why this was happening. I remember one time my dad telling me "It's because some people in the world hate Americans because of the way God has blessed us! They can't have it and they would rather kill us and see us suffer than to see us flourish! Because America IS the greatest country in the world!" That made a huge impact on me and to this day I still believe that is true! The men and women who lost their lives that day will never be forgotten! The police, firefighters, rescue workers and emergency workers who lost their lives on this day 11yrs ago and days following will never be forgotten! The troops who have lost their lives in direct resonse to this attack will never be forgotten! There are men, women and children in this group that passed away. There are men without their wives, without their children, without their brothers or sisters because of this day! There are women without their husband, without their children and without their brothers and sisters because of this day! Their are children without there dad or their mom or both, without their brothers or their sisters because of this day. I love my country and today I feel that our freedoms are being attacked again but domestically this time. We need to rise up and become the nation we should be! And the Nation we once were MANY MANY YEARS ago! Let us never forget this day!

Preparation for the GREATNESS within!

          I think this next blog is fitting considering the Olympics just recently came to a close. What is the ONE thing EVERY single one of the Olympians have in common? They have all showed up PREPARED! They have prepared themselves, typically their whole lives for the greatness of the Olympic Games! They are a very select group of individuals who have FAR surpassed all of their peers in becoming the best at whatever sport they compete in! For instance look at Micheal Phelps. He is now considered to be the greatest Olympian of ALL TIME! He has won 22 medals, 18 Gold and 4 Silver. He prepared himself his entire life to be the greatest swimmer of all time! He not only became the greatest swimmer, he also became the greatest Olympian of all time! Now when I talk about Olympians I brought up Micheal Phelps, there are many other Olympians who have made their stake in the world as the best. Such as Usain Bolt or Gabrielle "Gabby" Douglas, I say these names and they immediately ring true as the best. What about those who didn't quite win the gold medal? Should they be left out? I don't think so. Look at Oscar Pistorius, a man born with a debilitating disease which left him without legs at 11 months months old! He would not accept anything less than being in the actual Olympics, he did not want to compete in the Paralympics he wanted to compete against people who had NO disabilities, not only did he compete, he made it to the semi-final round! To me he has won a gold medal just for being able to compete in the Olympics! He made it to the GREATEST stage on earth!  Or what about Lori "LoLo" Jones? This young woman was the world champion in the 100m hurdles! Won gold twice in this event but unfortunately fell short both of her Olympic appearances. She got a lot of slack from the media, especially from the New York Times, claiming she was over rated and a lot of other bull they decided to shovel.  In my opinion Lolo Jones is an over comer. Just look at her background! She has an amazing story! She prepared herself for greatness and made it! She has SO much to be proud of and she shouldn't have ANYONE disrespect the things she has accomplished and what she is going to accomplish! She also got a lot of slack for the fact that she is a virgin. I myself am a virgin and understand those struggles! It's not easy and it's not fun! It's so unbelievable to see people actually stand up against the status quo! So many people cave into peer pressure and don't stand up for what they believe and it's a breath of fresh air to see someone go against the grain in such a large way! Looking back at these Olympic games Oscar Pistorius and Lolo Jones are the two individuals who impacted me the most! I have an extremely high level of respect for the 2 of them! But how do these Olympic stories relate to you and I on an everyday level? We need to be preparing ourselves for the greatness God has placed within us!

           Preparation is the key to our success as individuals. We have to begin to prepare ourselves for many things that God wants us to do. One of the keys to preparation is having the patience to stay on course! Becoming the best we can be does not happen overnight. It's not this magical potion you can take or this specific quick route, it takes hard work, determination, motivation and courage to get where you want to go! That's something we can learn from all of these Olympians! Now not everyone's path is going to be the same to get to greatness, you have to discover your own path, you have to figure out where your motivation comes from, or where your going to find the courage you need to succeed! However I can say one thing is for sure, preparation is the key, preparing yourself for greatness plays a huge role in becoming great! If your not prepared you will fail at any of your goals and aspirations. 

Past, Present, Future

           So today I'm sitting here looking at my life... The past, the present and the future. It's a little bit overwhelming! I feel such an emptiness in my heart, my life. I've done nothing and left nothing behind so far, I don't want my life to mean nothing, I don't want my life to be equivalent to nothing but a fleeting vapor as spoken of in James 4. I'll be sitting watching television or listening to music, not doing anything special and God will randomly humble me to the point of tears! I literally feel like a piece of clay and God is reaching into the very depths of my soul changing things! I feel so incomplete and undone right now!


          I like to try to plan things to a certain extent, however always have that opportunity for change and go by the seat of your pants! Right now I can't do anything! I don't even like making plans day by day because I feel like it's not my place and I haven't made good decisions when it comes to plans anyways! For a month God has brought me to tears! Everyday I have cried and poured my heart out to God asking "WHAT?" "WHY?" and every time there is a silence it seems in the entire area I'm at, but no response! I feel God is keeping things from me because he wants me to walk by a faith I've never used! Walking blindly! That's always been one of my biggest fears is losing my sight and also my ability to walk! It's a fear that grips me! I don't think it's a coincidence that it would also spill over into my spiritual life! God wants me to learn from this, but I don't know how to let go? I'm too scared to let go! I've given up, but not let go! Why is letting go so difficult?! 


        My Past is FULL of STUPID decisions! Decisions I have repeated many times, some I have learned from but way to many have been repeated! I don't want to repeat the same mistakes anymore! I want to walk on an unbeaten path of righteousness for the glory of God and not only that but just to benefit from living a good life!!! To know I've actually helped people! To know I left something for future generations! 


       I look at my life in the current state that it's in and I can honestly say I could see myself being single for the rest of my life... Is this my desire? NO! NEVER! OF COURSE NOT! But I can't bring someone into the broken life I have and expect to be the support, shelter the stability for them! I am SO broken myself how could I EVER expect to be able to help a beautiful young woman who deserves the very best (because ALL young women do) be the person she should be? And help her through life? Be there for her? In the ups and downs? I can't direct my own life, how could I possibly expect to help direct TWO lives?! Of course through all of this it should be mutual, 100% from both the man and woman, but I wouldn't be able to give 10% right now much less 100%! God has an amazingly simple way of making me feel broken, I don't even know how to put it but sure enough here I am writing once again on this blog. 


        You know, thinking about it, I don't even know who I am anymore! WOW! That's a hard pill to swallow right there! Actually admitting you don't know who you are! It's also a real scary thought! I honestly don't know who I am? I don't even know who I want to be? I don't even know what I'm doing anymore? I'm like a living zombie! How man people are like me though? Gosh, maybe that's an even scarier thought?! I didn't plan on coming on here and writing all of this stuff, it just seems to keep coming right now. But seriously a living zombie. A mindless individual who is going through the ritualistic things of life because that's what they are supposed to do! Right now it brings to mind the Dr. Pepper commercial where they tear off the jackets and they have an individualistic t-shirt on underneath the jacket that EVERYONE had on. Maybe too many people are actually doing that. Maybe it's even more than we realize! How many people are to afraid to break that? I know right now, I'm not!  But I have an issue... I don't don't know how too? I've lost my ability to think for myself. I've been brainwashed by the psycho-social world we are in, where it's fine to be this "thing" that society has become! But seriously, how can we break this mold? I want to know! I want to begin to think for myself again! I want to think my own thoughts and breath my own breathe! Maybe this is me beginning to come out of the slumber I've been in for years, years of my life wasted, years of my life I can never get back! I feel like I've taken a breath of fresh air! I actually almost deleted that last sentence because I'm so afraid I'm not going to wake up from this zombie like sleep! I hope and pray this is the beginning! That this month has been the "waking" process! I guess all we can do is wait and see, cliche I know!

Taking advantage of life

The Bible says that life is a fleeting vapor!!! Does that mean our life is a fleeting vapor compared to him or everything around us? I would have to believe that he is referring to everything around us.... like the Universe for instance!!! But why does God say this? Why does God use this very clear description? I think I may know the answer...... But Im not sure?! Please let me know what ya'll think with your comments! 

God makes it very clear that he loved us so much that he gave his only Son, Jesus as our ulimate Sacrifice.... the greatest gift he could have given... but it was also the greatest sacrifice he ever made.... I mean it was his Son! So if God loves us that much then why does he say this? He also says some other things that are very hard to understand.... He said he knows all the stars by name?! Thats nuts.... so with that in your mind, how can we be so important that he would give us his son to die a horrific death so that we may live.... and then say our life is a fleeting vapor?! It really doesn't make much sense..... But if you really pray about it, it's like he is giving us a warning..... like *Look Ahead, You Don't Have That Long To Live Here On Earth, So Make Sure You Do What Is Right..... Make Sure You Can Affect As Many People As You Can!!!* Imagine if thats what God is actually saying to us! What if it's like a point of advice... so that we can do as much as we can to bring our almighty God glory.... to bring as many people as possible to knowing him?! What if he wants us to realize something more important than life itself.... Eternity with Him! Allowing Us to have a personal relationship with him.... A Responsibility to show other people how great and amazing our God is....Allowing other people to enjoy the same Love and Joy we have because of him!!! WHAT IF?!

Things I try to practice

Life, Life is something fragile, something that has to be taken care of, something that has to be nurtured and cared for, something that cannot be misused or mistreated and something ppl have no idea about!!!! Life wasn't meant to be easy, it is meant to be fun and exciting..... we ourselves can control all of these things by simple principles.......

1: Rely on God.... don't rely on anyone or anything except for God and his son!

2:Don't put expectations on people, because people will always let you down... don't lose faith in them.... but never expect; expectations are things that are rarely met, and will always leave you empty.....

3:Don't live YOUR life to make other people happy, because it ties in with number two, if you live YOUR life trying to make other people happy you will never be able to meet their expectations and therefore you will let them down! If you live life to make yourself happy, in return you will make others happy, because you will be in a better mood, you will be full of energy and full of vigor, instead of stuck in a rut trying to figure out how to make others happy when your unhappy yourself!

4:Put others before yourself!!!! It may sound contradictory to 3 but in reality it plays a huge factor in pushing 3 along..... if you put someone's needs before your own not only have you met their needs, but you have also made yourself happy because you were able to help someone, see you still helped yourself be happy!!!! If your quality of life is high, and YOU can do things for you (such as dancing like your by yourself even though people are watching, or singing for yourself no matter if you suck and people are making fun of you but you don't care because your singing is for you, not them) then you can love others like they need to be! Because your doing things for you, and in return your helping others! Even though they may be Deaf after wards ;)

5:Love like it's going outta style, the more love given out the more love you will receive, now yes some people will not love yo back, but who cares!!!! You got Millions of other people to get love from and you just keep giving it!

6:Don't open yourself up to allow yourself to be hurt..... now yes, romantically you have to give your entire heart to the one you Love and trust them, have FAITH in them to take care of it.... just like they would take care of their own heart full of love!!!!

7:Love others exactly the same you would want others to Love you..... Treat them with the same respect that you would want yourself!

8:Don't let things bother you, don't let things get underneath your skin, like water off a ducks back! Go with the Flow!!!!!

9:Figure out yourself...... learn WHO YOU ARE!!!!! and learn to Love yourself!!!!! I believe to many people have no idea who they are, because they are too caught up in others, i.e. Friends, Family, games, food, alcohol, etc. Whatever it may be that they find comfort in, what they find to do, let it go..... Figure out who you are for you!!!! Not for anyone else, but for you!!!!

I know my Identity is wrapped up in God, and yeah some of these things may be way off, they could be plan wrong...... but right now I believe this is whats gonna get me where I need to be, with God, with others and with myself!!!! Thanks for reading whoever did!!!!! Peace Out!!!!!

With Much Love,

Gabriel Sutton

Sufferings don't have to be

Why is it when God tells us to do something we fight him on it??? I know God told me to do something 2yrs. ago and I didn't do it! I started off strong in it! But then stopped! Because of my disobedience I am suffering the consequences of those actions! If I would have obeyed him then and stayed strong, it would have caused much less heart ache and struggles! I would be in a completely different situation right now! I hope my mindset and my actions will change! I am truly trying to reevaluate my life! I don't want to live a mediocre life anymore! I'm sick and tired of settling for the second best of EVERYTHING!!! My life is SO much more important than that! God wants whats best for me! But sometimes we just can't see that! Or maybe it's just me?! I'm not sure???  I pray God will use the broken person that I am!!! I don't deserve or even need to be given a chance to serve God! I don't deserve or even need to be allowed to be a leader! But it's not about me!!! It's ALL about JESUS CHRIST!!! My savior! My King!!! My Brother! My FRIEND!!!! Because of him, because of the sacrifice he made, because he loves me, because I mean the world to HIM, that's why I am given a chance at life!!! Not just any life! But eternal life through him!!! There's not enough I can say about my God!!! There's not enough words to express how thankful I am to him for everything he's done for me!!! He is EVERYTHING I need!!!!!

Lessons

I learned something today through carrying a canoe?! The easiest way to make progress in our lives is usually the most painful!!! We make the greatest progress in our lives when we sacrifice our flesh! But who wants to sacrifice their flesh?! I know I don't.... escpecially today while carrying that canoe! The easiest way to carry it was also the way that took the most time, and held us up from walking quicker!!! But the hardest and most painful way was the way to make up the most ground and the way we walked the quickest!!! It took a while to finally figure that out while walking down the road, but I finally gave in along with my friend and walked with it so we could make the most progress.... I finally learned what the big hold up is! It's not God who takes so long to do things, It's us who takes too long to let him do the things that requires us to make sacrifices in our daily lives and which causes the most pain! If we would just allow God to do and show us the easiest way to get through our trials and tribulations, then maybe we wouldn't have to go through so much crap, to get to the same point in the end, because with God you always have to give up what is keeping you further from him!

Passion

So tonight as I was watching America's Got Talent, I couldn't help but think I have nothing that I have ever put everything on the line for! Nothing I've worked so hard to achieve! It was a very sad thought as I sat there enjoying this television show watching as each performer poured their heart and soul out on the stage! It's amazingly beautiful to me how people can love what they are doing so much! They have such a passion for it, such a drive, a motivation! It's simply incredible! I pray and ask God for this drive, this determination they have! I see it and want it! I long for it! That passion! The passion I see in their eyes is simply beautiful and absolutely breathe taking! I have never personally experienced this in my own life! I've never had a passion so intense for something that I would stop at nothing to see it be fulfilled! I pray I find that passion for something! That drive that motivation! It's a beautiful thing to watch as each performer is up there. To me it's always been the no name stars who are the best to watch! they are the ones you can ALWAYS truly see the passion and desire in their eyes! You feel what they feel as they perform! It grips you, it grabs directly at your soul, your heart! You want to know what it's like! That's the sign of a true performer! That's the sign of a great speaker! That right there is the sign of a GREAT Leader! I want that! I want to become that! I will become that!

Life's decisions

Life's so full of decisions, some good, some bad. I don't believe any of us always think about the consequences of the decisions we make, especially when we may not see the result for years down the road. I'm praying I become more mindful of this simple fact, no matter what decision is made it WILL have a consequence whether it be good or bad! I really wish I could change the last 2 years of my life, especially the last 7 months or so. I've made very rash, very stupid decisions in this time period. I know I'm not perfect, I've never claimed to be, but I have claimed to know what I'm doing.... Which I don't! That right there is what has put me in the situation I am in currently! God only knows how long I've ran from him and what he has wanted me to do. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I have wasted away my life thus far. I'm capable of being so much more if I would just allow God to take over and take control! I've never really listened to my parents in life. If I would have I could be in a much better place. All the dreams I've had for myself have fallen to the wayside because I've been ridiculous in the things I've done, the money I've wasted, the decisions I've made. People tell me I'm too hard on myself, but I'm not, in fact I'm probably not hard enough! I've decided to turn my life around currently, I've given the wheel to God, he is the potter and I'm the clay! Something I've realized lately is it's not becuse of me, it's all because of Jesus, it's not because of me, it's because of who he is! Now it's something I've known but never realized. Realization of something can be a VERY powerful thing! Realizing something means it's become real! It's the same thing as having heard something and having listened to something! If you listen to something you take heed! You have understood that and will act accordingly! I don't know why I've waited this long to start acting on what I've known for a long time?! Maybe it just wasn't my time? Maybe I had to hurt myself so many times and miss out on SO many amazing opportunities that I finally gave up, which I officially did towards the beginning of this year! I no longer cared, I lost a desire and a love for life! I became depressed, which never happens! I became stressed out and if you know me I'm a free spirited person and stress is not something I'm used too! I'm never stressed out! I allowed my health to deteriorate and I became sicker than I've ever been! Now I'm at the point of trying to climb out of the hole I dug for MYSELF! Why did I do this? WHY?? It could have been so much easier for me if I would have done all of this stuff to begin with, actually listen to my parents, do what God asked of me and MANNED UP! I have no idea what it means to be a man! I hope maybe I'm on my way. I hope ya'll enjoyed reading this and that it ministered to at least someone out there. God bless you all! 


With Much Love,
Gabriel Sutton