Life's decisions

Life's so full of decisions, some good, some bad. I don't believe any of us always think about the consequences of the decisions we make, especially when we may not see the result for years down the road. I'm praying I become more mindful of this simple fact, no matter what decision is made it WILL have a consequence whether it be good or bad! I really wish I could change the last 2 years of my life, especially the last 7 months or so. I've made very rash, very stupid decisions in this time period. I know I'm not perfect, I've never claimed to be, but I have claimed to know what I'm doing.... Which I don't! That right there is what has put me in the situation I am in currently! God only knows how long I've ran from him and what he has wanted me to do. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I have wasted away my life thus far. I'm capable of being so much more if I would just allow God to take over and take control! I've never really listened to my parents in life. If I would have I could be in a much better place. All the dreams I've had for myself have fallen to the wayside because I've been ridiculous in the things I've done, the money I've wasted, the decisions I've made. People tell me I'm too hard on myself, but I'm not, in fact I'm probably not hard enough! I've decided to turn my life around currently, I've given the wheel to God, he is the potter and I'm the clay! Something I've realized lately is it's not becuse of me, it's all because of Jesus, it's not because of me, it's because of who he is! Now it's something I've known but never realized. Realization of something can be a VERY powerful thing! Realizing something means it's become real! It's the same thing as having heard something and having listened to something! If you listen to something you take heed! You have understood that and will act accordingly! I don't know why I've waited this long to start acting on what I've known for a long time?! Maybe it just wasn't my time? Maybe I had to hurt myself so many times and miss out on SO many amazing opportunities that I finally gave up, which I officially did towards the beginning of this year! I no longer cared, I lost a desire and a love for life! I became depressed, which never happens! I became stressed out and if you know me I'm a free spirited person and stress is not something I'm used too! I'm never stressed out! I allowed my health to deteriorate and I became sicker than I've ever been! Now I'm at the point of trying to climb out of the hole I dug for MYSELF! Why did I do this? WHY?? It could have been so much easier for me if I would have done all of this stuff to begin with, actually listen to my parents, do what God asked of me and MANNED UP! I have no idea what it means to be a man! I hope maybe I'm on my way. I hope ya'll enjoyed reading this and that it ministered to at least someone out there. God bless you all! 


With Much Love,
Gabriel Sutton